


Beast in the Belly

by MargaretKire



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Feelings, Hux meets Kylo without the mask, M/M, The planet is strong with the Force, doesn't realize who he is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 03:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5851510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MargaretKire/pseuds/MargaretKire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“State your name,” the man said, breaking the silence, trails of white vapor drifting away from his mouth in the breeze. Again, that warning voice whispered to Ren from somewhere around him, inside him, as though the planet itself was speaking to him, urging him to tell this man the truth. <i>Which truth?</i> Kylo wondered.</p><p>“Ben,” he answered simply, not sure why that name had escaped his lips.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beast in the Belly

**Author's Note:**

> What if Hux met Kylo without the mask, and thought of him as a totally separate person from Kylo Ren?
> 
> And what if the planet that was used for Starkiller Base was Force sensitive?
> 
> This is not connected to _Flicker in the Void_ , but I promise I am working on a Part 2. I just really wanted to work on this idea first.

From the moment he stepped onto the surface of the white planet, Kylo Ren felt it. There was a presence unlike anything he had ever experienced, vast and wide, larger and more encompassing than any other he had encountered. Yet softer, less focused. It was the Force, but it didn’t seem to be directed towards him by another Force user. Rather, it seeped into his skin, his bones, like the cold that surrounded him.

The small snow-covered world was scheduled for the construction of the First Order’s new super-weapon. Ren had felt a strange pull towards it from the moment an officer had pointed out the possible location out on a star map. A sudden feeling had lurched through his stomach, a spark sent by the Force. This place was somehow important. Kylo instinctively felt that destinies would be decided from the depths of that white world. Something shivered up his spine, a feeling like loss, like falling; but also a feeling of victory, of burning red light, of voices falling away into the darkness.

Even before seeing the planet in person, he knew it was the right choice. Through his influence he made sure that it was selected for the construction of Starkiller Base. Only then was he able to arrange enough time to visit the planet himself, with the Supreme Leader’s blessing.

He had come alone, landing his command shuttle on the flat white expanse of a field between snow-covered pines. Kylo knew there were survey teams in the area, but he had picked a section of land that was not yet scheduled for mapping. He could get a better sense of the how the Force affected this planet without the leftover energy patterns from the survey crews. The snow here was untouched, smooth, unending. He sensed that the Force in this place had never been disturbed by another being.

Ren had his cloak and helmet with him, but left them in his quarters inside the shuttle. He planned to spend several hours hiking through the harsh conditions of the planet, so he decided to wear the insulated clothing designed for the purpose: a pair of thick black pants; white, long-sleeved thermal shirt; a black hooded jacket; and tall boots that lashed around his legs to keep out the snow. He pulled a tube of fabric over his head to cover his neck, tied his hair loosely back, and then pulled the jacket’s hood low around his face. Sliding his hands into thick gloves, he exited the shuttle, making his way through the snow towards the nearest outcrop of rock.

The feeling of fate intensified as Ren breathed the cold air of the world that would birth Starkiller Base. Again, he felt flashes of images: red light, victory, falling, fighting...fighting among the pines...blue and red clashing. Pain. He let the visions come until they gently drifted away, as if the cold wind had snatched them in its icy fingers, just before he could see them clearly.

As he walked across the unbroken plain of snow, Kylo kept feeling a warm throb at the edges of his mind. It felt like being watched. Turning his head, he scanned the tree line, glanced overhead, looked towards the rocky outcrop in his path. No one. Just the feeling of being watched, an interest, large and vague, like the Force energy of this place itself. Not friendly, not hostile. Simply curious and observant.

He climbed the modest height of the outcrop, searching the crystalline world in all directions, breathing the crisp air, feeling it’s cool fingers reach into his hood, the wind touching his cheeks and eyelashes, his ears and lips. The wind had an almost personal feel, as though he were being inspected, whispered about.

Ren picked a path that would lead him through a thin stand of trees and up to another, larger hill of rock. As long as he kept moving, kept his heart pumping, he did not feel the cold. It was only when he paused, his Force senses confused by the intermittent flashes of visions he was receiving, that the cold seeped in, a cold that felt like it had eyes. He wanted to explore the visions, not block them out, not stifle them. He threw himself open to them, welcomed the Force.

Ren was so absorbed in the flickers he was picking up that he didn’t see the other man until he was very close. In any other situation, as soon as Ren had sensed him, his life would have been snuffed out in a squeeze of his fist . At that moment, however, with his entire being thrown open to the Force, he knew instinctively not to kill the other human. The warning call of the Force overrode his reaction to strike out. He waited calmly instead, both figures halted in the snow, facing one another.

The other man had a blaster pointed at him, but he hadn’t fired. He was obviously weighing whether he should, calculating the circumstances carefully. Kylo could sense him working out that  Ren didn’t have a blaster. The man seemed to think it might be safe enough to get some questions answered before he shot Ren through the chest. Kylo observed the unusual orderliness of the other mind with a touch of envy.

He was dressed in official First Order cold-weather gear, white instead of Ren’s black. His face just showed under his hood, and a skull cap was pulled tightly over his head and ears, conserving heat. His lips and the tip of his nose were red, but the rest of his face was exceptionally pale. He stood with the straight confidence of a military man of high rank.

“State your name,” the man said, breaking the silence, trails of white vapor drifting away from his mouth in the breeze. Again, that warning voice whispered to Ren from somewhere around him, inside him, as though the planet itself was speaking to him, urging him to tell this man the truth. _Which truth?_ Kylo wondered.

“Ben,” he answered simply, not sure why that name had escaped his lips.

“Just Ben? No other name?”

“No, just the one.” They stood considering one another.

“Tell me why I shouldn’t shoot you and leave your body in the snow. You aren’t part of my survey crew,” the pale man sneered.

“It would be a shame to kill one of your key strategists before excavation even begins,” Ren responded smoothly. “I helped choose this planet, and I wanted to conduct a survey of my own.” All of that was truthful enough. He left out the unnecessary details, such as the call of the Force and the fact that he was apprenticed to Supreme Leader Snoke. The man wouldn’t recognize him. No one in the First Order had ever seen him without his helmet. There would be no way for this man to connect him back to Kylo Ren.

“I will need to confirm that,” he said.

“Naturally,” Ren answered, shrugging. “I can wait.”

The man held his communication device to his mouth, his pale eyes never leaving Ren. He spoke to a static-muffled voice, asking for confirmation of a strategist named Ben, and whether he had clearance for being on the surface. The communication device went silent while the officer on the other end checked with command. In his mind, Kylo followed the invisible link from the communicator back to the waiting command unit stationed just behind the large hill of rock. He found the officer, who was just about to initiate a link with the larger ship in orbit, slipped inside his mind, and left an identity there.

“Confirmed,” the voice crackled, “A strategist named Ben was scheduled to make planet-fall two hours ago, sir. He has command-level clearance.” The man in white pocketed the communicator. Slowly, as though it went against his better judgment, he lowered the blaster. He continued to study Ren for a moment, and Kylo could sense him coming to a decision.

“I apologize for the rude introduction,” the man said, relaxing his posture only on the surface, his inner alertness remaining. “I’m General Hux, and I’m overseeing this project. Our survey is progressing faster than scheduled. Perhaps you’d like to see our results thus far.” Kylo nodded. General Hux motioned for him to follow as he began walking, not quite turning his back on Ren, keeping his eyes thrown over his shoulder at him until they were walking next to each other through the snow.

On the way back to the general’s command ship, Kylo answered all of General Hux’s questions easily, sidestepping the verbal traps laid for him. The other man could sense that Kylo wasn’t telling him the whole truth, but by the time they were walking up the survey ship’s ramp, he seemed to believe that Ren was truly involved with the Starkiller project. Kylo sensed that he still planned to test him further while they were looking over the survey specs.

Ren found that he rather enjoyed the challenge of getting this general to believe him without using the Force. The general’s mind was well-ordered and quick. He would have made a formidable opponent if he had chosen not to believe Ren. Especially as the Force was insisting that Kylo not resort to killing or directly manipulating him.

They made their way to the small command center of the ship. General Hux asked the officer on duty to pull up the needed data on the displays, and then asked that they be left alone. Once the results were up and the officer had departed, the general motioned for Ren to make himself more comfortable and began taking off his own snow gear.

General Hux pulled back the white hood and took off the cap to reveal bright red hair. He ran his fingers through it several times, trying to get it into a semblance of order. He didn’t entirely succeed. Kylo was startled by the red hair. He was not sure why exactly, he had seen redheads before, though they were not very common. It was as if he were remembering some forgotten dream, the flash of copper against pale skin, the pale green eyes…

The general had noticed his staring. Ren was not used to having to control his gaze. He was almost always behind a mask. The feeling of the other man actually seeing his eyes and where they were directed was as unfamiliar as it was unnerving.

He dropped his eyes and turned his attention to taking off his own hood and coat. Pulling his hood back and unfastening the coat, he followed the general’s example by draping it over the back of a chair. He pulled the circle of fabric over his head, and threw it on the chair with the coat, then tugged the white shirt into place where it had risen over his waistband. A few locks of his dark hair had escaped their tie and were falling forward into his face. Sliding the band out of his hair, he roughly pulled his fingers through the strands until they were out of his eyes and then tied it back once again. Finally free of the irritation, he looked up at the other man who was standing waiting for him, presumably so he could show him the survey data.

The general’s eyes had a faraway quality as he looked at Ren, not retaining any of the sharp look from moments before. His gaze drifted over Ren’s throat, his hair. When he finally met Kylo’s eyes, his own widened almost imperceptibly. Abruptly he turned toward the maps.

They looked at the survey results together, discussing the possibilities of the weapon’s inner mechanisms and of the overall concept of the design; how it would benefit First Order objectives. The general pulled up the design schematics. He had the first draft from the engineers that were working to build the enormous machine. Neither Kylo nor Hux were weapons engineers, but they both had extensive knowledge when it came to this particular project. They also shared a love of the first two Death Stars created by the Empire decades earlier.

Their conversation started off stiff and halting, with the general still trying to catch Ren in a lie, and Kylo distracted by the general’s copper hair. But after nearly three hours of pouring over specs and plans, they had begun reminiscing about the old Empire and glorious deeds of the commanders and Siths they admired. Even though Hux favored military exploits over tales of the Force, they shared an appreciation for the ideals of those times - order and power - and for the continuation of those glory days through the First Order.

The general had unwound enough that he was almost smiling, the tension in his frame relaxed somewhat, and was standing in his least rigid military stance. Kylo had thrown himself into one of the chairs, and was leaning back slightly, laughing at a sarcastic comment from the general. He looked at the other man in appreciation for his witty remark, and brushed away the dark strands that had again fallen into his face.

The general looked at him, that faraway gaze returning just for an instant before he visibly collected himself, straightening up and removing all traces of the smile from his features. Ren knew without being told that this was the end of their interview. He stood and began layering on his winter gear for the hike back to his shuttle.

The general walked his guest to the ramp, formally shaking hands with him as they parted. “It’s been a pleasure, General Hux,” Kylo said as their hands met, his hand, large and warm, encompassing the general’s cool fingers. The general’s eyes went a little wider at the contact, but otherwise his face remained immobile.

“Likewise, Ben,” he had responded. “I hope we are able to meet again when we have more leisure time to discuss the new base and the glories of the Empire.” Ren nodded and turned to leave. The way General Hux had said his name had been soft, gentle. It sent a shiver down his spine and through the Force, as if a stone had been cast into a still pond, the ripples circling out through the energy surrounding him.

Ren didn’t look back as he made his way to his command shuttle. His long legs powered easily through the snow. Eddies of some unseen current pulled at him, tugged at him, caressed his face, his mind.

As he rose through the atmosphere in his shuttle, those invisible fingers slowly drifted away, letting go, seemingly with regret.

***

It was nearly a year before Kylo Ren returned to the white planet. The massive super-weapon project had gotten underway with alarming speed, the First Order attempting to complete the base in secrecy and have it operational before their plan was discovered by the Republic. In order to conceal Starkiller, Supreme Leader Snoke advised using feints as cover for the true objective. During the first year of actual construction, therefore, Kylo was executing Snoke’s orders, drawing attention away from the base.

Kylo and the Knights of Ren fueled the flames of civil war between the two ruling sectors most needed distraction from the project due to their proximity, ensuring that they pulled their fleets in tight to their home worlds. They were too busy attacking each other to take proper notice of the increased First Order traffic at the edge of their system.

Ren returned from the mission only to receive a new assignment immediately. Kylo had briefed Snoke on the strange Force pull of the Starkiller planet when he had reported to him months previously, and Snoke claimed a renewed interest in the phenomenon. He wanted Kylo to spend time on the world, listening to the Force and paying attention to the visions. Snoke was particularly interested to know how the visions changed as construction neared completion. He seemed to think that much was to be gained by having a Force user as capable as Kylo Ren on the site. The knight agreed, bowing before his master, and then retired to his shuttle to prepare for the journey.

As he slipped into hyperdrive, Ren tried to rationalize his strange excitement. He had felt a oneness with the Force on the snowy planet stronger than any he had known.

If he were being honest with himself, the Force was only one of the reasons he was looking forward to returning. The other had to do with the vague promise of discussing the glory days of the Empire with a man with copper hair and pale green eyes; eyes like the reflection of leaves through ice.

The main command unit of the base was already constructed and consisted of the main First Order headquarters and the command living quarters. The main bridge was complete, equipment fully functional. The remaining outer structures of Starkiller were being assembled quickly. It was the mechanism in the planet’s core that took all their resources to complete on schedule.

Ren made his way to the officer’s quarters where he had been stationed. He gave his name simply as Ben, having once again left his helmet and robes behind in the shuttle. He used the Force to strengthen the validity of his identity with the officers he encountered until it was simply accepted as fact that he was a strategist named Ben, assigned to the base while it was under construction, to assist General Hux as needed.

Snoke had approved the idea of Ren remaining undercover for the time being. Although he didn’t elaborate his intentions, he said it would give them a certain advantage within the First Order. “I will unleash Kylo Ren on the general once he is needed,” the Supreme Leader had said. “Until that time, your old identity will be far more useful for our purposes. You will be less conspicuous.”

Ren intended to report to the general the day after his arrival. In the meantime, he walked out into the snow, out past the disordered slush where troopers and engineers had trampled the ground, far beyond the trees and out into quiet, undiscovered fields of unbroken white. He felt the strange awareness around him sharpen, as though careful eyes had snapped to him in sudden attention. An unseen presence began following him, trailing behind like a silent wolf pack. When he turned, there was nothing there but his own footprints in the snow.

The next morning, Ren rose early for his appointment with the general. He smiled to himself as the warm water of the shower drenched his hair and streamed down his long back. As Ben, he was a subordinate to the general; but as Kylo Ren he would have been considered his equal, if not his superior. At least he’d had the forethought to give himself command level clearance so that the general would at least treat him with respect.

He dressed in the ordinary clothing that one would expect from a First Order strategist, somewhat more formal than he would have wished. He tied his hair back and abandoned the hat that traditionally accompanied the uniform. He was only willing to go so far for protocol.

Kylo stepped onto the bridge silently, observing the ordered rush of officers and troopers. His focus centered on one man at the far end of the room, the axis around which this precise world revolved. Ren watched him until the general looked up. The action was sudden and decisive, as if Kylo had called aloud to the other man, rather than just thinking his name. It was unintentional. Ren would have prefered to observe him unnoted for just a moment longer.

Ren strode forward then, the general meeting him part way across the expansive floor of the bridge. “Ben,” the general said simply in greeting. His gloved hands were clasped behind his back. He showed no intention of shaking the other man’s hand and Ren left his hanging loosely at his sides. “Thank you for assisting in our efforts. Supreme Leader Snoke assures me that you will be a valuable asset.”

Kylo simply nodded in acknowledgement, hiding all trace of surprise that Snoke had contacted the general himself. He had assumed that the Supreme Leader was expecting him to use his Force abilities to blend in at the base, and he had not anticipated any intervention from his master. Once the general had officially greeted Ren, he directed him to a station on the bridge, making an appointment to meet him later that night to discuss the progress of the base.

As he worked at the display unit, sifting through data and engineering specs, Ren occasionally glanced up as the tall, slim figure of the general strode by, engaged in rapid conversation with his staff. His red hair was uncovered and swept back off his forehead, parted on one side. The hair along his neck and over his ears was trimmed and neat. Kylo absently tucked one of his own unruly locks behind his ear, just as the general flicked his pale eyes in his direction. Both men quickly dropped their gaze.

Kylo had just enough time for a short walk through the snow-covered pines before meeting General Hux at the appointed time. He walked into the meeting room with snow still caught unmelting in his hair and on his dark jacket. His cheeks flushed from the cold and the fast pace he’d maintained while forcing his way through the dense snow. Ren’s eyes met the general’s and he flashed him a sudden genuine smile, still half lost in his own musings.

The general’s lips parted slightly. Kylo sensed, rather than heard, the sharp intake of his breath. The pale green eyes widened slightly as his ivory cheeks slowly suffused with warmth. Blinking twice, he indicated a seat at the table. As Kylo sat, the general slid a data pad over to him and tapped the one he had before him, bringing the display to life. Without any preamble, they began catching up on Starkiller’s progress since the last time they had met, when the base was merely a digital schematic.

Like their first meeting, the stiff discussion eventually dissolved into less formal conversation. Hux relaxed enough to lean slightly back in his chair. Kylo rested his elbow on the conference table, cradling his head in one hand, tucking strands of his wayward hair behind his ears as it tumbled forward in silken disorder.

A calm silence descended on them, Hux nearly smiling as Ren grinned, his face still cradled in his long hand. Their eyes locked, each of them forgetting their anger, their heartache, their responsibilities for just a moment of time, just existing together, the only two people in the galaxy.

“Come have a drink with me,” Hux said, surprising both of them.

“Alright,” Kylo responded.

As he stood staring out the large window in the general’s quarters, accepting the proffered liquor, Ren felt the presence of the planet again. It was whispering something to him, though he couldn’t make out the words. Flashes of red and blue. Visions? A violent quaking, burning. Cool tranquility torn asunder, melted apart in intense heat. Pain. So much pain. Kylo blinked.

“Are you alright, Ben?” the general asked. It was the softest he had yet heard his voice.

“Yes,” Ren responded with a small smile. “Just lost in thought.” Their eyes met then. The general turned away first, taking a sip from his glass, briefly touching his top lip with the tip of his tongue to capture a drop of amber liquid that lingered there.

 _I don’t actually know this man_ , Ren thought, desperately trying to get his thoughts in order. He took a sip from his own glass. The smooth fire of the alcohol burned a pleasant track down his throat and into his chest.

“General-,” he began.

“Hux,” the other man said cutting him off. He looked at him out of the corner of his eye then, as if surprised by his own voice. “I prefer that you call me Hux. In private, at least.” He began blushing furiously, and Ren could tell he hadn’t meant to say any of it outloud. It made Kylo break into his genuine smile again. Hux caught the expression and turned slightly towards him, uncertainty showing clear on his face, worried that Ren was laughing at him.

“Gladly,” Kylo responded, trying to set him at ease. “Hux it is.” Ren sensed it was wise to leave as soon as his glass was finished. He thanked Hux and took his leave before either of them could say or do anything they would regret.

As he walked back to his quarters, Ren felt the presence again, urgent this time, but still wordless. Just flashes of images he didn’t understand. Blue, red, fire. Snow. Pale skin, pale eyes, copper hair. And the pain. So much pain.

 _Who are you?_ Kylo asked through the Force, not for the first time. No clear answer. Awareness...pleading. But no words. _I’m sorry_ , he thought back. _I don’t know what you are asking of me. Please..._ A feeling of immense sadness washed over him then. Kylo was just able to get inside the door of his quarters before he collapsed to his knees, overcome with a grief not yet his own, and wept as though his heart were breaking.

The next several weeks passed in a similar manner. Every few days the general would meet with him to discuss the progress of the base. He sounded Kylo out on the challenges he was facing, finding the other man’s mind to be remarkably insightful, seeing solutions in a matter of minutes to problems that had been plaguing the general for days.

Hux often asked Ren back to his quarters for a drink, and most of the time Kylo accepted. He would have gone every night if he could, but he was afraid of his own eagerness. He felt it was wise to decline on the nights when Hux’s eyes looked a little too green, his skin too much like porcelain, the hair gleaming with sparks of copper.

He knew he was lost the night Hux reached out and touched his hair. They had retired to the general’s quarters for their now habitual glass of alcohol. Ren stood at the broad window, looking out onto the white expanse under the starlight, the lights dim enough in the quarters to allow him to see clearly outside. Nothing moved, the frozen world was still. The planet was reaching out to him, whispering, urging. Yet again, Kylo could not make out the words. He was concentrating so intently on the Force, he didn’t notice Hux moving closer until his hand was reaching towards his face.

Kylo froze, stilling his instinct to react as though the motion were a threat, confused by the movement. It was only when the general’s fingers gently took the silken strands of his hair into a light grasp, letting the dark strands glide slowly through his grip before tucking them behind his ear, that Kylo realized what he was doing. Hux gazed at Kylo’s stunned face for a moment as though trying to come to a decision.

Whatever he was trying to decide, Hux seemed to put it off for another time, dropping his hand and his eyes at the same moment. Kylo left soon after, not knowing what to say to alleviate the tension that had suddenly gathered in the room.

He walked slowly back to his quarters, worrying about why he was allowing himself to even consider these emotions. _When had he started enjoying being Ben more than himself?_ This was a weakness. He should not allow it to continue.

The presence of the planet was gathering in urgency the closer he got to his cabin. It was practically screaming at him by the time he opened the door and saw the notification light blinking on his data pad.

Snoke had finally delivered the order he had been dreading. It was time for the general to meet Kylo Ren.

***

He snuck out of the base, returning hours later in his shuttle. Landing in the shipyard, he emerged as a Knight of Ren, dressed in his helmet and robes. The fabric felt rough next to the comparably soft uniform that he had become accustomed to.

He struggled to adapt to the helmet once again. Ren was surprised at how alien it suddenly seemed, at how quickly he had grown used to the air on his face, to his expressions being visible to others.

He moved stiffly to the bridge, gathering several Stormtroopers to escort him in a show of command; an effort to not be Ben, to be anyone but Ben. The small army surged onto the bridge. Hux turned from a conference he was having with two of his officers and stopped dead, staring at the figure in black. Ren could feel the general’s heart jump at the sight of him, and for just a moment he wondered if he knew. Kylo’s chest constricted at the thought. Shutting out the warning voice that was all around him - the desperately whispering voice that tried to hold him back - Kylo reached out in an instinctive reaction of fear.

 _I am not Ben,_ he told Hux with the Force. _I am Kylo Ren._ Hux stood frozen for another moment, confused, resisting. Then his face smoothed out, and he was looking, not at Ben, but at a stranger.

“What is the meaning of this?” he demanded.

“I am Kylo Ren, apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke,” he said in his most controlled, cold voice, a voice completely different from Ben’s, modulated and flattened by the mask. “I am here to oversee your progress, general.” The two men stared at each other. Kylo sensed the anger from Hux, an anger that wasn’t simply because of the intrusion, of the delays the Knight of Ren’s presence would inevitably cause. It was deeper, a pain so deep that he didn’t even know the cause of it, piercing a spot in his heart where there had been light and warmth and suddenly there was nothing but ice.

Later that night, Hux told him about meeting Kylo Ren over a glass of liquor, and he could hear the anger in the general’s voice. Hux admitted that he didn’t know why, but he had hated Kylo Ren instantly. They stood in front of the window gazing out, Hux holding the cool glass to his flushed face, obviously fighting a headache. _How ironic_ , Kylo thought watching him, wishing to comfort him. _If I were here as Kylo, I could simply reach out and take the pain away, but as Ben I can do nothing._

Not for the first time, he cursed himself for using the Force against Hux. While admitting that Ben was actually Kylo Ren was not something he ever wanted to do, it would have been preferable to this deceit. The lie was already gnawing at both of them, mere hours after the act had been committed.

Being both men was not as difficult as Ren had feared. As Ben, he mentioned run-ins with the overbearing Knight of Ren, making sure to sympathize with Hux over the Force user’s arrogance, telling him that he had met him before in Snoke’s employ. As Kylo Ren, he kept strange hours, making sure the crew had plenty of stories to tell Hux about his nocturnal prowlings all over the base. While that meant that Ben looked tired some mornings, no one, not even Hux, suspected the connection.

When he was Kylo Ren, he was merciless to the general, goading him, sneering at him, overcompensating for the fear and guilt of his growing betrayal. The closer Hux got to Ben - the more he opened up to him as they talked in the evenings, the more private thoughts they shared - the more cruel Kylo Ren became, until he could sense Hux’s hatred for him, barely controlled behind eyes of green ice.

The super-weapon was ready to test ahead of schedule, due in part to Kylo’s near fanatical devotion to the project as both Kylo Ren and Ben, throwing himself into the work of finishing Starkiller. Part of his desperation was due to the growing impact of the visions that were being sent to him from the presence surrounding the planet. More and more often it was simply the feeling of pain; an immense pain of fire in the pit of his stomach, in his chest. Breathing fire where once there had been smooth coolness. The feeling of being hollowed out and burned alive. Other visions too: falling, endlessly falling. Blue and red clashing among the pines. Cool stillness, peace - suddenly rent apart, burning, expanding, terrifyingly bright and hot. Golden fire spilling out, flooding the night sky.

Ren wanted to leave. He didn’t care what assignment he was given. He just wanted to escape the visions, the suffering of the planet, the horror of the weapon. He wanted to escape Ben and the way that Hux looked at him, as though he were falling and had nothing to grab onto, no way to stop and steady himself. His green eyes wide and terrified.

Hux had begun avoiding him. Ren could tell that it had all become too much, could feel the general’s control slipping a little each time their eyes met, each time they were alone. The invitations to follow him to his quarters for a drink were offered less frequently, yet more desperately fearful when they did come. Both of them were being hollowed out in sync with the planet’s heart, as the First Order made a place deep inside to nestle a demon of fire and death.

In their next interview with Snoke, Hux and Ren had the objective of the test confirmed. It was no surprise to the two men, as they were the ones that had initially suggested the prime system of the New Republic. They had mere weeks to finish the preparations, ensuring that there would be no issues on the day the weapon was fired for the first time.

Kylo could barely sleep at night from the intrusion of the wailing voice that haunted his dreams. He still heard it when he was awake, but it was tolerable as long as he stayed focused on completing the base, on his two distinct personas, on not being alone with Hux for too long, just barely managing to skate the dangerous edge without toppling into oblivion.

The night before Hux was to deliver his speech and command the destruction of the Hosnian system, the two men shared a drink in Hux’s quarters. Both were exhausted as they stared out the window at the snow.

“I can’t stand the thought of sharing this victory with him,” Hux said simply. He knew without asking who the general was referring to. He shrugged.

“You’re sharing it with me, too,” Kylo said, and then he smiled at Hux, a small helpless, hopeful smile. Hux took in the details of Ren’s tired face, the sad smile, the hidden pain in his eyes. He took a step forward, impulsively, something deep welling up in him, something he was no longer able to repress. Kylo sensed it, could feel the keening Force around him pick up in intensity, shifting keys.

With his hand cool from the glass he had been holding, Hux reached out and gently cupped Ren’s face, his thumb brushing over his high cheekbone in a caress. Kylo saw it those green eyes - the ice breaking up, the clear green of leaves looking back. He sensed what the general felt for him, had felt for him almost since the first moment they met. He knew what Hux was about to say, his hand heating against Kylo’s skin, forming to the shape of his face, gently merging with him at the warm contact point, breathless.

Ren did something he had to do, though it broke his heart to do it. Looking a final time into those beautiful green eyes, clear and hopeful, brimming with the words about to fall from his lips, Ren stepped back and let the general’s hand fall from his face. Without another word he walked out of the door, but not before seeing the wrenching pain in Hux’s eyes.

When the call came for them to meet with Snoke, before Ren departed for the _Finalizer_ to oversee the mission from deeper in space, Kylo studied the general carefully from the safety of the mask. The audience chamber was dark, but when Snoke’s hologram flickered to life, the light cast onto Hux’s face left little doubt. He had wept the night before. The general had managed to stuff the emotion down, stifle it. The pain could wait.

“This moment will go down in history, down in legend,” Snoke was saying. “So will both of your names, General Hux and Lord Ren. Therefore, I find it only appropriate that you officially meet one another. Lord Ren, please remove your helmet.”

He froze. Hux had turned to him slightly, standing perfectly still. The vague curiosity on his face slowly turned to dread as Kylo hesitated, staring at him from behind the mask. Hux seemed to sense something was horribly wrong. He blinked several times and then looked at Kylo harder, more intently than he had done since that first time on the bridge. The spell was being broken, torn apart by those green eyes. He took in Ren’s height, the width of his shoulders, the way he stood, the balance of his weight. Even before the clasps had hissed open and the helmet was lifted off with trembling fingers, Hux was shaking his head. _No. No. No._

When the Resistance succeeded in destroying the thermal oscillator and the planet began to disintegrate, Kylo lay in the snow bleeding into the screaming white world. The presence that had followed him while he had been on the surface sobbed with pain and regret. It seemed to ask him, _Why? Why didn’t you listen? Didn’t you realize this was to be the end, all along?_

Moments later, Hux plucked Ren’s broken body out of the snow and carried him to the shuttle. Small fingers of the Force - tiny fingers on fire from the fusion taking place in the soul of the planet - raked through Ren one last time, branding him deep within, before the shuttle lept into the dark void of space, carrying the humans away from the once pristine white world.

Beneath them, the planet gave one final shudder before dying and being reborn as a star. The calm cool heart of the world ripped apart in fire, burning out into the void, spilling liquid gold into the black. Its Force presence searching, reaching out; aware only vaguely of the small ship rushing into the darkness. Its own life both destroyed and remade, a new being born of flame and fear, stretching its thoughts out into the vacuum of space.

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired by a prompt from icjoydivision. 
> 
> I couldn't stop thinking about it, and this story is the result. The original promt was:
> 
> "Hux seeing Kylo wandering around Star Killer Base while it’s being built, not knowing who he is and chasing him down all “who the hell are you?” and they become awkward friends because Hux treats him like a human being and then when Hux meets him WITH the helmet and the robe and the anger, Hux doesn’t put two and two together to realize they’re the same person. Kylo realizes this but doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t want to lose what little socialization he gets.  
> Until Snoke catches on and makes Kylo take off his helmet in front of Hux.  
> The betrayal."
> 
> Thank you icjoydivision for this wonderful prompt and your Kylux stories!
> 
> I am MothDustMouth on Tumblr.


End file.
